Суббота в Миддлбери

Today I successfully managed to rest and relax.  I got up this morning, got breakfast, did 3 loads of laundry, played a game of Carcassone online with a friend, got lunch, previewed my homework for the weekend to know how long it is going to take, took an hour and a half nap, went to the swimming pool to swim, only to find out it was closed, showered, and am now waiting for dinner time.  After dinner I am going to watch this film http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0372366/

for middlebury's international film festival.  Every year each of the language schools brings in a great director along with a recent film, and they talk about their film and answer questions.  It's really cool.  This director's name is Boris Khlebnikov.  Which is just funny.  Khleb in Russian means bread.  Lots of Russian names are like that, though.  For example, Medved means bear.  Right now the president of Russia is Dmitri Medvedev.  

Anyway, that's your interesting fact for the day.  I miss home and Austin.  But it was a cool feeling to wake up and realize that I was thinking in Russian this morning... :-)

Middlebury, еще раз

I was given the opportunity to study at Middlebury, Russkaya Shkola, again this summer through the welfare of my parents and a substantial grant from Middlebury College.  On the whole, I am very glad to be back, though the workload is daunting and the solitude that comes from being allowed to only speak with family and friends a few times a week who do not speak Russian can be overwhelming.  

Middlebury is a very pretty place.  Always green.  Always alive and fresh.  Right now I am sitting in the library working, and looking out the window I can see mountains with clouds covering the topс of them.  It's moments like these when I wish I was more creative, and could paint the picture of my view from the window just a little better.  :-) 

This kind of landscape and climate is so very different from what I am used to in Texas that I cannot help but feel separated from my life in Texas.  In that way, life at Middlebury is refreshing for me.  It's the place where I was able to re-build a foundation in the Russian language last summer, and this summer, at an advanced level, I hope to be able to increase my fluency in the language even more.  This ability I hope will give me an edge during the next year as I begin the 300000000000 meter hurdle race of finding a job after graduate school.  Everyone, it seems, is worried about being able to find a job in this time of economic instability in our country.  Finding a job, however, is exciting to me.  Yes, I "need" a job.  Yes, I "must" have a job after graduation.  But for me, a job symbolizes a new beginning for which these last 8 years have all been preparation.  The challenge of finding a job, a job in my fields of interest, is a challenge that I have prepared for.  This is the reason why I studied Russian and Serbian, decided to pursue not one, but two graduate degrees simultaneously, and worked so very hard to get one of the most competitive internships in my field.  Last semester was the first time I didn't work while going to school, and it was really about renewing my energy, interest, and drive to finish strong at the LBJ School.  After Middlebury last summer, and the internship in Moscow, I was just so completely exhausted, it was so hard to remember why I was doing this in the first place.  Being back at Middlebury with less than a year of schoolwork left (ahem, lets not forget about a thesis to write- you know, no biggie), I feel so close to reaching my goals, and this realization is a relief.  I am so close to being the person that I would like to become.  

Happy Father's Day to my dad and grandpas.  You have all supported me in different ways over the years.  Thanks for all you do, and still do for me.  Love you much, Crystal.

Easter Vigil

I remember this day last year vividly.  I had just spent about 10 hours trying to figure out how to do a problem in my statistics class, only to check my grades online and find out that I had royally failed the midterm, and would have had to ace everything after it to come out with a C.  Needless to say, stat's classes are not my strongest area.  I pretty much struggled with it, and finally decided, after a long talk with my dad, that I should drop the course.  I spent so much time on it, though, that I had a ton of stuff for my other classes to do, and decided that I couldn't go home for Easter, for the first time in my entire life.  It may not seem like a big deal, but trust me, being raised in a Catholic family...this was a big deal to me.  

So on Sunday, my family decided to drive up to Austin to me.  I was so happy! My parents really dislike driving to Austin, so I really appreciated them making the gesture of coming to me, and it allowed us to be together on this holiday weekend.   

I dreaded making that decision.  It definitely undercut my self-esteem, and made me think I was never going to be able to use those skills for, for example, my professional report.  Furthermore, dropping the course was financially detrimental as well.  Not only did I lose the money I spent on the course, plus the books, I also had to sign up for the course again this semester because this course is required in my program.  It also delayed my graduation by a semester as well.  

Needless to say, my dread for taking this course was fairly strong.  Not only did I go into it knowing that I am not interested in this subject, I went in knowing that I have already almost failed at it.  So I did what I thought I needed to do.  I took the least amount of hours possible to be a full-time graduate student (9 hrs.), I looked for a part-time job-but wasn't too terribly upset when I wasn't able to find a suitable one, and I put my nose to the books.  I worked hard, and am a little amazed at how much better I am doing this semester.  I am taking a different professor, who takes a different angle at regression analysis, and I think that has helped tremendously.  I tend to over-extend myself each semester, so the slowness this semester has been quite frustrating at times, but I think that has helped me more than anything else in getting through this course.

This year, I had enough time to come home and am working on my hw and classes from here.  My family is waiting on my mom to come home this year (she's an accountant and April 15th is falling after Easter this year -booooo), but tomorrow, we will all be together, like we have been my entire life.  As I grow up, I know this won't always be the case.  We don't do anything too special during Holy Week; we just go to masses, make and eat too much food, and hang out with one another.  But I know I'll miss these days one day.  

Happy Easter, everyone! 

 

A Fear

As silly as it may seem, one of my main fears is that my friends won't get along with one another.  But you know, it's not really silly if it's true.  

Last week one of my most liberal of friends, another moderate-to liberal leaning friend, and my most conservative friend all ate a nice, mostly pleasant meal together.  I think I was probably the most uncomfortable of the group, considering I was the social engineer.  Needless to say, while it wasn't disastrous, it definitely wasn't ideal.  I really don't know what I was thinking.  I should have been more careful.  Then again, intolerance is an unacceptable trait to possess.  People have different views, which do not necessarily make them ignorant.  If you test them on their views, and they are ignorant, well then, that's another story.  

This event also made me re-assess how exactly it is I value my friends, what they bring to the table, and what I can offer them.  My conservative, Catholic friend, S, is a walking contradiction, and I don't think I'll ever understand exactly how it is that she reconciles all of her beliefs.  I don't just keep her around for comic relief, however.  Since I was raised Catholic, and because she is one of the few people at the university who is studying Serbian and modern-day Serbian politics, we do always have plenty to talk about.  I also feel like I come from a similar socio-economic background as she does, which also makes her easier to relate to.

However, I completely respect and admire J&J, their ideals, their ambition, and their sincerity as they strive to do what is best to serve the public and the environment.  

For me, I know I fall somewhere in between S and J.  It's why I like them both, and why I will continue to divide my time between different groups of people.  In a perfect world, however, they would both be invited to the game night I am hosting tomorrow evening.  But they are not. :/

Couple of Firsts

So today was my roommate's birthday, and I bought her a Hey Cupcake to start it off right.  I'd like to take a moment and just say how much I appreciate having Miss K as a roommate.  I hear horror stories from friends about their roommates, and I've had a couple of my own moments where I really wish I hadn't lived with someone.  So, I was bracing myself when I decided that I needed a roommate.  I enjoy living by myself, but living with Miss K has been quite nice.  I am soo soo sooooo grateful that she puts up with me! She and I get along very well, are courteous to each other, and even like each other enough to hang out sometimes, without actually having the pressure of hanging out all of the time.  So it's a pretty sweet deal.  

Anyways,  this evening I hugh out with Miss K for her b-day.  We went to Trudy's and then went to her friends' place to watch Lost.  They are Lost junkies; they watch every episode every week, no one is allowed to talk during the show, there's even a girl taking notes. No joke.  Needless to say I was totally lost (please excuse the pun). haha.  But also intrigued.  Maybe I'll watch the earlier seasons when we turn our cable off.  (trying to save money every where we can! another reason why i love my roomie!)  The other first, was that K was in the band, so I was hanging out with a whole bunch of band nerds!  It reminded me so much of what I liked about those people.  They really do have unique personalities.  Hard to explain!

Anyways, I've finished my work for the day.  I think I actually did better on the problem setI turned in today than my previous one for my Advanced Empirical Methods class.  Now I'm going to relax and catch the end of the Spurs-Mavs game!

Go Spurs Go!

Social Butterfly

Last night I went to dinner with a friend, who I had not seen in a while (since we were both in Russia).  It was great to see her b/c I get to talk about the things I love the most with her, and I don't have to explain anything.  She gets it. Actually she knows more than I do about it because that's what she lives, breathes, sleeps, and eats.  What is it?  Foreign policy and politics.  

Miss Zeepzonk is moving and packing today.  I made mango salsa to take over to her place, and help for a while.  But I also very much need to clean and study today.  So I don't know how long I'll be over there

I think I may need to do volunteer work for the next 3 months.  A job is not in the cards this semester. It's very upsetting to want to work and not find anything worthwhile to work on (and be paid for it), when there is so much work that is worthwhile but unpaid.  I may volunteer for Lee Leffingwell's campaign for Mayor of Austin.  Or work on something for the ACLU relating to the stimulus package, or my last option is to work as an intern for a company that my friend works for.  The last job would be incredible. I really would love to do it, but I also know that it may be the most demanding of the three options I've laid out for myself.  And given the fact that I am taking a class which seems to be the most difficult class of my life, I don't know if I should try to balance both.  I also don't know what the requirements of the length of stay of the internship would be.  So I need to verify with my friend the terms of the internship (not to mention formally apply), before I go for it.

My internship last fall was the highlight of my career, thus far.  It showed me what I was working towards, and that what I am working towards is worthwhile.  I get so excited talking about foreign policy, I really need more FP junkie friends.  I love my group of friends, and I love the diversity they bring to my life.  However, I don't feel like I get enough time to discuss current events with them.  Or at least, they would rather talk about domestic politics while I would like to talk about Russia's latest ploy to exert influence in Central Asia and the consequences of depending on Russia as an alternative supply route to Afghanistan.  Just a slightly different topic.

Deadlines

In grad school, I have come to have a certain disregard for the terms "deadline" and "due date."  They have very little meaning to the average graduate student.  If you can turn in a better product a few hours (or days) later, then that is usually what we aim to do.  

However, I do recognize that when I do have a real job, which I hope to have someday soon, deadlines will matter, and will show your employer that you can manage your time and that you respect your job.  Today, however, I am turning in my stat's homework a day late.  It just wasn't going to be the best product if I turned it in yesterday.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.

Nothing much new to report here.  I am no longer sick, which is great.  I went to the doctor and found that I had bronchitis for like the kazillionth time.  I am really tired of catching a cold, and it turning into a situation where I cannot breathe. But there's not much to be done except taking vitamins, exercising, and staying the hell away from sick people.  

So, I started running again on Monday.  And depending on how I do over the next couple of weeks will help me decide if I will run the Austin Cap10K on March 29.  I really want to, but I also want to be able to do it running non-stop, or at most taking only a couple of walking breaks.  I would also like to do it in under 1 hr. 30min's.  I think that is possible for me.  I've never run a 10K before, and right now I am just doing it to run the distance and show myself I can do it, not really for the time.  Time goals will come after distance/weight goals.  

In terms of my weight goals, I don't know if I've made any progress this month, to be honest.  I'll find out on Friday, but I doubt I will have progressed.  

In other news, my friend Miss Zeepzonk got her first real J.O.B.!!!! We are all really excited for her.  However, she is moving to Dallas, and her new job starts March 1st.  So she is not going to run the 10K with me, and she is in Dallas as we speak with Mr. Paderball looking for a place to live.  I am so happy for her, but also will miss having her just down the road.  It'll be an adjustment for me, no doubt.  But hopefully she'll come visit often!

I hope everyone is having a great Thursday morning.  I'm off to finish my silly work, and then possibly go for a longish run.  Later.